As a young mother myself, I understand (perhaps more than most) how grave this situation is. Having a child changes more than your figure, believe me. What I find hard to fathom is, how can a 16 or 17 year old girl understand this? Even I, an educated 23 year old woman in a loving and strong marriage, did not fully understand the repercussions of my decision until I was holding my darling baby boy in my arms. While I am happy with my life as a mom, I can't imagine a 16 year old girl will be content waking up at 4 am to feed a fussy baby, or stay in watching reruns of John & Kate Plus 8 while her friends engage in the normal college shenanigans. How is a girl who hasn't even taken the SAT equipped to raise a child? What's more, I find it even harder to believe that the studs in this equation will take kindly to fatherhood. Let me get this straight: A boy who can't even get through a soundbite without cursing is allowed to raise a child? Riiiight.
But all this is strictly conjecture; a liberal baby-eating woman's strong and perhaps unfair judgement. What is more concrete is this: As American women, we should be doing something to prevent teen pregnancy, not lauding these girls' decisions to marry a bum and raise their own little miniature delinquent. How can social conservatives seriously advocate abstinence-only education, when the result is clearly unwanted teen pregnancy? How can they reconcile this antiquated stance with their restrictive, insulting "pro-life" views? Never have I felt pride swell up in my heart more than when Barack Obama discussed the issue of abortion with Rick Warren a few weeks ago. This, I thought, is a man who holds respect for the women of this country. Respect great enough to understand that the decision to have a child is the most important decision a woman will ever make, and it will not be made lightly. I hold this adorable baby boy in my arms not because I was backed into a corner and forced to bring him into this sometimes messy world; but because my heart skipped a beat when I saw the positive sign on that home pregnancy test. My son is my greatest joy; and my solemn wish is that every woman, no matter their age, gets to experience this elation. Do I think 16-year olds should be granted free access to late-term abortions? Of course not. Do I think abortion is morally correct? Heck no. But it is not my job, nor is it an politician or legislature's job, to impose my moral compass on something as personal as a woman's reproductive health. Conservatives claim they are for "small government," and that the "angry left" want to bring their government right into your living room. Excuse me, GOP, for wanting to keep social law out of my uterus.
All of this opinion is fine and dandy, but it will never effect the voter whose opinion is different from my own. What I can do is plead with my conservative friends: In the words of my mother's NOW chapter leader, on the day Roe vs. Wade was handed down: "Alright ladies. We've made abortion legal. Now, let's make it uneccesary". As long as society continues to glamorize teenage pregnancy and downplay the very real implications of having a child, left and right will be at odds. Ladies and gentleman, I propose we work together to find real and workable solutions to this problem. We all pay the price for unplanned pregnancies. Let's present our young women with a broad spectrum of options, not force them into a shotgun wedding. Let's nip the problem in the bud with comprehensive sex education and access to preventative measures. Let's make it universally legal for our GLBT brothers and sisters to marry and adopt so these "unwanted" babies can be given a shot at success rather than foundering in our overflowing foster care system. Let's avoid the stereotypical Jerry Springer-esque story of the terrified young mother who doesn't realize she's pregnant until she poops her baby out in the football stadium restroom. Let's spend federal money on childcare, health care, and education programs that cater to young mothers. The answers to the problem of teen pregnancy will not be found in the candidate that opposed proposals to spend federal money on teen-pregnancy prevention programs and voted to require poor teen mothers to stay in school or lose their benefits. The answer will be found in a change of regime, in a celebrity of a candidate whose respect and love for the women in his life is obvious. That, Sarah Palin, is what we lefties mean by change. THAT is change I can believe in.
4 comments:
I agree with you that more education is necessary in order to address the problem of teenage pregnancy. It's clear that society at large has failed in this respect, and much of the blame falls on the parents who have expected government and schools to raise their kids because they don't want to have the "tough" conversations. That being said, sometimes even the most well-rounded, educated people make bad decisions and it has nothing to do with parents or schools.
Ok, so now to where we disagree (you knew this was coming). First, I think you miss the point when you say that girls like Jamie Lynn Spears and Bristol Palin are being made into role models because they decided to keep their babies. It's not so much that these girls are being turned into role models, as they are being credited with taking responsibility for their actions. There's something refreshing about a 16/17 year old girl saying "I got myself into this situation and I'm going to deal with the consequences." Likewise, from the male perspective, it's refreshing to see the boyfried step up and commit to caring for the girl and the child rather than running away. "Pro-Choice" advocates always go around saying that they're for a woman's right to choose. However, in your post you seem to be ridiculing these girls for making the choice to keep the baby. Are you saying that you're for a woman's right to choose as long as she makes the decision you think is right? There seems to be a disconnect here.
Second, I think that you are oversimplifying the entire abortion debate. While I can't speak for the entire GOP, your characterization of the conservative position on abortion is innaccurate. For most conservatives (excepting the wingnuts), the abortion issue actually is one of "small government." The way in which abortion was legalied, by judicial fiat, usurped the proper role of government and the power that our Constitution grants to the people. I agree with you that it is not the government's job to legislate morality, but it has done just that through the Roe v. Wade decision. The conservative position, then, is a combination of morality and limited government sensibilities. I would venture to say that most Americans hold the moral position that you and i share - abortion is not morally right. However, true limited-government conservatism also says that it is not the government's role to legislate morality. Therefore, it seems that the best way to address the issue would be to leave it with the people as many European nations have done. Repeal Roe v. Wade - not to make abortion illegal, but to allow the people of the individual states to make the determinations and to bring government back within its proper Constitutional role.
Yes, we need to do better. But truely effective change doesn't come from a large, disconnected federal government. It comes from the grassroots - the communities, the churches, mosques, and synagogues. It comes from the local hospitals and doctors that know much more about health care than a community organizer or a Navy pilot. We will never see the kind of change we need until people stop relying on government to solve their problems and get together to solve their own problems. This will never work, however, if government keeps getting in the way.
Intriguing.
I agree with you that sometimes these girls are made into heros. As for your friend, Brown, this is what I have to say. I find nothing refreshing by hearing a 16 or 17-year-old girl say "I got myself into this situation and I'm going to deal with the consequences." If you want to have the baby instead of aborting it, that's perfectly fine with me. But a person should never DEAL with having a baby. Give it up for adoption. Give it to a family like mine will have to be one day that will love and care for it but can't have babies on their own. Turn your "mistake" into someone else's joy. This is much better anyday than making a girl who made a bad choice DEAL with the consequences. Babies should never be a punishment.
Also, it is very typical conservative voice to say "Let's not have the government involved, let's just leave that to the churches to do." Well, what happened to religious freedom in this country? What if a citizen has never been to church in their life? Are they not worth our time to invest sexual education just because they don't go to church? I think it's the right thing to do to make that type of education available to everyone. Not a city responsibility. But, a federal responsibility. Make everyone learn it. If they don't that sex can get them pregnant, then they need help. If I remember correctly, at the end of all my sexual education chapters in class, it ended with "But the only way to fully avoid ____ is by abstinence." But pretending girls and boys aren't going to do it until they are married is old fashioned. Is it admirable if you wait? Hell yeah. But, if there are 2 people going it before marriage, that's worth the extra education.
Blair -
That statement was not intended to mean that it's refreshing for someone to "deal" with the consequences. Rather, what I think is refreshing is for a young person to realize that they made a mistake and to have the maturity to say "this is my child and I am going to care for it and love it." Sorry for the confusion on that.
Also, if you look back, it's not just the churches that I say should be getting involved - it's the local communities and all the people and organizations that make them up. The primary responsibility in all of this should rest with the parents. It is much more effective for the local communities to take the lead than a large, distant federal government. Personally, I would have no problem with my kids (should I ever have any) taking sex education. But you can be damn sure that I am going to take the lead in talking to them about it rather than allowing the school to do it for me.
Interesting, that both of you went to the same high school and had the opportunity for comprehensive sex education. And while it's great that you plan on talking to your kids about sex, there are many parents who are not so admirable- whether they just don't care or are just too embarrassed to bring up the subject. Bottom line is, our teens need sex education. Because ultimately our society pays the price for unplanned babies, this is an issue that deserves attention outside of the private family sphere.
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